Sunday, February 9, 2014

白の日 Shiro no hi

25th January 2014

New year new beginning
and yup....I took the opportunity of my new year holiday and accepted a photoshooting being offered by others.

After a year (whole 2013 except the fair I did) of not doing any photoshooting,
to be honest, I doubted.
I doubted myself whether I still can do it or not. (^__^") is too short to be worrying and holding us back from doing stuff we love.
So I've decided to accept it and have fun.

This time, the theme was wedding gown (not a formal one thou)~
I was so exited about doing this shoot because I always find the white dress sooooo beautiful...
and me and my ji muisss always wanted to do a group shooting for this theme...
but now I'm being offered? ^___^ too good to be true.

I was so nervous back then but I'm lucky enough to encountered good photographers again.
Derrick, Eric, Rainie...all of them were so nice and friendly.
Rainie is the pretty who help me do my make-up and hairdo. =D

Okay, cut out all the craps....
Below are parts of the photo being captured that day.
As usual, this post is meant for me to be kept as a part of my memories....
Some of you can ignored this if it's happen that you already saw few of these pictures. hehehe~ =P

[p/s:: one thing I wanna CLARIFY, I am NOT Married yet. >__<
too young for that and I'm single still. haha]

The day will come when I'll be loved and be your only one.
And I'll be yours forever, to my love.

Don't let someone dim your light, simply because it's shining in their eyes. 
We can't always choose the music life plays for us, but we can choose how we dance to it.

Tuesday, February 4, 2014

Getting Back Up ^_^

Sometimes, I'm really quite amazed with myself on how fast I can get rid of my bad mood...
after releasing all my thoughts yesterday and had a good night sleep,
today I'm perfectly fine again. (^____^)
Blogging is good for me I guess (somehow, someway...not sure) *teehee*

When I read back what I wrote from my previous post,
I realized something that I have to correct it...if any of you who happened to see my post,
there is something I have to clarify

I don't love him anymore. I'm not sure how should I describe this.
But....I only love the "old him"~ the one that I fell in love with
And I'm quite clear about this, that the one I fell in love with is definitely not the same person as he is now. So ya....I know it's weird. But...ya, I'm quite clear about this.

And I also know I should not be thinking and reminding about the past....
but memories....memories is just there and it won't change, so it's okay. 
I won't force myself to erase it as it was a part of my memories, my life... =')
I believe someday, slowly...
Those memories will fade away when someone else who's truly love me will give me a better memory (I think).
#havefaith and I won't give up on love ^_^  

Monday, February 3, 2014

Hi Foong Yee...

Hi Foong Yee,

"How have you been lately? Doing good? Yes....I am doing perfectly fine. ◕‿◕ 


That is what I thought and what I wanted to believe in all this while. Whenever a negative thought (valentine's day and continue with any other memories) come by, I will tell myself not to take it so seriously anymore because it is already a past. Yes, I know I can't hide, escape or control all those memories to come by, but anytime I can face it bravely and take it in as a part of my life experience right? So let it go and move on. Don't look back because everything now has changed. You're sad now, but he won't know and worst, he  is already enjoying himself with another girl. So don't be sad for him anymore, Foong Yee. (͡๏̯͡๏)

So...Lately I've been working, meeting new friends and colleague, going out with friends and spending more time with family and focusing on work and I was happy. Yes....I thought I can make it. But during this CNY, few of my cousins asked me about my bf and I told them I am single now. They were surprised and suddenly they asked me about him and so, I just told them briefly what happened and ya, the relationship ended on 2012. =') Then they continue asking me, "How are you then? Move on?". @_@ I looked at them, stunned speechless-ly and I just smile and then move on to the next topic. ^‿^

Acted like nothing happened, ●‿● but.....the consequences from this casual chatting is, I got myself back to the past. Reminded me of what happened and looking back at myself now, realizing....just how long I've been waited and......I also realized, my feelings were still.....Hahahaaaa.....silly me...really silly me. Foong Yee....why do you still....????  ^___^|| haha.... 

I have tried to ignore it and move on with it. I tried and acted as if it does not hurt and put on a smile as always. ^__^ "I wanted to be happy....I wanted to, so I have to smile. I can't let myself continue staying in the past", I kept telling that to myself. Yes...nothing happened....not until today when I went out randomly with a friend for brunch. When he introduced a nice song randomly to me, I cried. =.=??

Cried so painfully when listening to that song. Have no idea why it hurts that much. Maybe because of the emotional events that happened on previous few days??? The song itself has nothing special as it does not carries any special memories but....I have no idea why some of the memories flashes back at the time I'm listening to that song. I do not want my friend to get shocked or anything, so ended up I have to turn my head towards the window and acts nothing while tears flowing down on my face silently. (╥﹏╥) ..... ???? sighhh

I worked so hard....fight my own feelings so long.....just to move away from the negative thought in me that still missing him....But, but no matter how far....and how long time I used to stay strong, some part of me still being dragged by the past that making me feels so weak. I hate myself being so weak...especially to the wrong person. ~__~

Sigh....when reached home, I tried not to think. I took a nap and tried to rest my mind. But the pain on my chest is getting weirder and weirder. I do not know what is happening. It just happened soooooooo suddenly. Try to overcome it but.... =.=" it fails and I do not know who can I talked to. And lastly, I decided to express it out in my blog....again. =.=" sighhh....


Being strong wasn't that easy after all....and...I am not strong enough after all I guess. (ب_ب)